(my thoughts are escaping me)

so apparently people don't like reading my blog. i find this very disheartening. 

What's wrong with me?!

I joke. I really don't expect people to read it.. although I do like to sometimes pretend that they do, and there are randomly people who i pass by who know my inner most thoughts, and we have a deep spiritual connection that goes beyond the physical communication of thoughts. Despite my efforts to be an interesting/artistic person, when down to the core, people don't really care. That is the interesting thing about human existence. We all exist together.. but we live in ourselves. We live in our bodies, in our minds, in our thoughts, in our desires. People are to busy worrying about themselves to realize that everyone else is worrying about themselves as well. What if we lived a day thinking more about another person then ourselves? What kind of change could that bring in our lives? To TRULY spend more time thinking about someone else then ourselves. I am not speaking of a lover, the kind of person that you think about to bring yourself happiness. I am speaking of the kind of thought that has nothing to do with yourself. No strings attached. Completely and utterly given up to another person. To get inside their thoughts, their emotions, their perspective. That would be a mind boggling experience, I am sure of it. I think people could accomplish so much more in their lives if they stopped worried about themselves so much. Loose your life so you can keep it? A deep spiritual truth that can be translated to all different aspects of our lives.  Open your eyes to the things unseen. How many times have we missed out on opportunities to bless and be blessed because we were to busy inside our heads. 

Just let it go. 

I have written a song about this before. I am trying to remember the words but I am finding it hard to concentrate due my background music. Oh I remember. "No ones looking at you know, cause they all focus within, all of us are selfish people and thats how its always. So get inside your disguise so all the world won't see. That your holding on with failing strength to all your empty things." The song is entitled shiny plastic box. I wrote it in an attempt to reconcile feelings of shallowness. How do we explain this huge epidemic within the human race? Human nature is always falling into the pit of ones self. I cannot imagine life without Christ. An entire life time focused completely on the self that lives inside of you? What is there to live for? This reminds me of a Brooke Fraser song.. "There is truth in every corner of our lives. There are hints of it in songs and children eyes. Sounds familiar like an ancient lullaby. What do I life for" Friends. What do we live for. Do we live to fulfill this self living inside of us? Feed its desires? Live entirely inside of our own heads? Praise the Lord for the Lord. Thats all I can say. 

I think that the purpose of expressing our emotions is to feel like there is someone else living inside our heads. When I share a song with someone, I am sharing my inner most thoughts. I am sharing what is constantly on my mind and how I feel about certain people and situations. I think thats why some people are hesitant to share there art, for these two reasons:

(1) people wont like what's in their head (rejection)

(2) they don't want anyone to share their thoughts/emotions/feelings. 

Some people like to live alone. Inside their head. Knowing that no one else can see how they feels. OTHERS however, THRIVE off of the idea of sharing what they know and feel. They can't stop talking to people about what's going on inside of their head. This leads me to my biggest fear: liars. I cannot stand it when people cannot express how they truly feel about something or someone. I can never figure out who they are, how they think, and if they can be trusted. To not know what is going inside a persons head, is to not know a person. Because what is inside their head is who they are. 

As a man thinks, so is he. 

You are what you think. A word turns into a thought. A thought turns into an action. An action then affects people around you. Which plants a thought in someone else's head. And the cycle continues. I am starting to realize how prominent cycles are. They are everywhere. You cannot escape cycles and so many people have been subject to the cycle that they have already been thrust in. This is very sad to me. BREAK THE CYCLE for goodness sake. Be new, be different, be creative, be original. As much as I say this, however, I know that sometimes cycles are inevitable and unable to be stopped or altered. I feel like I need more examples to back up my ideas. I will work on that, no worries. 

So whoever is listening, for the imaginary person that lives inside my brain, I would like to say thank you. Even if you are not real, I now have the ability to walk around under the allusion that someone understands what is going on inside my head. I wish people could just start caring about what other people are thinking. 

I will guess I will start by changing me. How ironic. 

 

au revoir